Harvey 2003-2012

We had to put Harvey to sleep tonight. We think he had intestinal cancer - several blood tests came back good, but he kept losing a lot of weight and was having other problems. We knew it was coming, but still...

When we were getting ready to take him to the vet we told Audrey he might not be coming back and talked a little about things. She made a nice card from all of us for him.

Surprisingly, the hardest part was telling Jack. We had taken the kids to Jennie's dad's, and Audrey had stayed there to help. After coming back from the vet, we stopped to get the kids and stayed a little while. When we came out, Jack said he didn't hear Harvey and we should drive on the highway to make him mew, and then asked if he was still at the vet's.

I said yes. Then he asked when he was coming home and I had to tell him he isn't ever going to come home again. I explained that he had been really sick and had died at the vet's. Jack was really upset and then Audrey got upset and they were both crying in the car on the way home.

We spent a little time looking at the picture album we have of Harvey when we got home and I went through iPhoto and added Harvey to Faces.

We got Harvey a month after we were married from a cousin's farm in Durand, and in a lot of ways he was our first child. We used to bring him back with us to the Fox Vally when we visited. He slept in bed under the covers with us. We got him a Christmas present a couple of times, and he's even in our first Christmas picture.

In the last few years though, having real children, we've been so busy we didn't do as much with/for him. We got a kitten for him about two years ago so he'd have someone to play with, but honestly I feel guilty sometimes that he got ignored.

He was really good with the kids and I know we'll miss him a lot. He may have not been a "person" but he was family.

The Faith of A Little Seed

Big Tent Revival - Faith Of A Little Seed

All it takes is a little bit of water and sunshine
To make a big tree grow
And every tree was a little bitty seed at one time
It just takes time, you know

Doubting Thomas

The Daily Bread for today is focused on the disciple Thomas.

Can a believer in Jesus who has occasional doubts about matters of faith ever be effective in serving the Lord? Some people think that mature and growing Christians never question their beliefs. But just as we have experiences that can build our faith, we can also have experiences that cause us to temporarily doubt [...] A time of doubt doesn’t have to become a life pattern. Allow God to lead you into a deeper understanding of His reality. Renew your faith. You can still accomplish great things for Him.

Since I referenced a song last time, I thought I'd mention the song "Move" by Mercy Me. Here's the chorus.

When life won't play alongAnd right keeps going wrongAnd I can't seem to find my wayI know where I am foundSo I won't let it drag me downOh, I'll keep dancing anyway
I'm gonna move (move)I'm gonna move (move) I'm gonna move (I'm gonna move)


P.S. Sometimes when I look through what I have written here, I'm tempted to "edit" things to make it seem like I don't struggle and have doubts. But I do (have doubts). Apparently that's ok, as long as I can learn something from what I've experienced and take it with me when "brighter days" come. These posts can be like my pile of rocks Joshua 4 mentions as "being there to this day" as a testament to God's provision for the Israelites as they were coming into the Promised Land.

Place in This World.

You know, I get tired of writing the same things, so I don't post much on here. My job search continues. I've had a few interviews this summer; the interview always seem to go well...then something falls apart once I leave and I never hear from them again. I honestly don't know what to do. I followed up with one and was told there was nothing "wrong" I did, just another interviewee had taught for 14 years and so.... . I believe God has given me a passion and skill for teaching, but I have no way to do it and I feel like I'm running out of time.

Trying to fall asleep tonight, the lyrics of "Place in This World" by Michael W. Smith flooded through my mind. I spent a lot of time listening to the cd that song is on as a teen, but I never thought those lyrics would still be relevant in my thirties.

Philippians 4:6-9, 19

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Am I an optimist?

It is March once again, and time grows near for the annual job hunt. Nothing in my previous experience would seem to lend any sense of optimism to the awaiting season of application, and yet I am hopeful.

Am I an optimist?

Making your movie in the cutting room

It's been said that George Lucas is a not an "actor's director". His only directions during the filming of Star Wars were allegedly "Faster" and "With more intensity". He has been accused of "making" his movies in the editing room by cutting together miles of footage to get a franken-movie.

My long-term sub AP students took a test last week Tuesday. I returned the tests today, explained my procedure for grading the essay, and was met with pleas to allow them to "argue" the multiple-choice questions.

I don't get this arguing a question thing.

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is...

A few days ago I mentioned on Facebook that what I dread most about subbing isn't a warning from the teacher that "This can be a tough group..." so much as a bright and cheerful "Your day should be easy - they are finishing up ...". The reason being that teaching lesson that features real student-teacher interaction and concepts that will be assessed is easier than supervising a workday on a project whose  purpose and requirements I have not designed.

For the next two weeks and two days, I'll be busy....teaching.

I will be teaching A.P. Government and A.P. European History for a teacher out on a short military leave.