What's wrong with me?

I think I can officially nail the lid on the coffin of Summer 2011 closed. 76 applications and 2 interviews - 1 PT and 1 FT, 1 in MN, 1 in WI. You know, after applying for jobs for five years and having only 2 school districts in the state in which you reside express any interest in offering you a FT position, you start to wonder what's wrong with you.

You begin to question the bigger things in life too. Is God real? Does He really care? If so, why do I have no success in doing what I'm best at? Why give me a passion and skill, but no outlet? Why give me three children and no means to provide for them? What's my purpose here? Why is this happening? Will it ever end?

Is it because I don't have enough faith? How much faith can I have when the same thing keeps happening over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over...

Last April (2010), I was trying to decide whether to leave my PT position at FVCA. Praying about it, reading the Bible, and talking with Jennie, and moved by some songs on the radio, I felt the thing to do was leave and see what else was available.

Nothing seems to be available, and I'm tired.

I'm tired of dashed hopes, repeated rejection, and feeling purposeless.

I'm stuck.

Will the night end and the sun rise?